May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
