Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
