We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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