All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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