Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
