seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
