i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
