she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
