Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
