you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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