He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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