dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
