is your mom at the bar?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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