Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
