im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
