The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
