I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
