This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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