oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i think i just lost a toe
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
