READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
