Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
