is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
