I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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