don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
