hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
