people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
