I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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