Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
