I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
