We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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