Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
