I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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