It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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