I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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