Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
