Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
