yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
