i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
