so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
