you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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