talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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