I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
