Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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