it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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