she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
