Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
