I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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