I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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