Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
