Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
